memory lane and personal thoughts

Like all mothers, I have spent today reminiscing about the last 9 years of my life— ever since my daughter, Dominique, came into it (10 years technically... if you count my pregnancy... which did account for nearly all of 2006) 'Cuz really, from the moment of conception, we are mothers. And it's a HARD job! It's the BEST job…but duuuude. Which got me thinking about all of the women in my life— past, present, and future— who I would be lost without had it not been for their wisdom, encouragement, and demonstration of how mothers really can do it all! 

Gosh, looking back on it? I honestly don't think I could've been a better age than my twenty-one years…


I had the invincibility complex of the barely-20's— but I wasn't too proud to admit that I was scared-to-death and could use all the pointers I could get. And thank God I had my soldier-mommies around me, who so graciously accepted the task; even if they wanted to strangle me at times! Like I said: I couldn't have done it without them! And it's funny because, out of the LOADS of solid first-year-survival tips I was given (and trust me— this was a hard list to top!) what etched into my brain the deepest was something that my amazing friend 
{💕S.S.} had told me when baby D was a mere 3 weeks old: you'll learn a lot more than you'll teach…

MIND. BLOWN. Instantly my mommy-mantra! Now, I make it a point to not be too "ohnoyoudoitTHISWAY" with my girlfriends babies {only assholes do that} but I DO pass along my friend's wise words! In hopes that one day (when they need it) it'll remind them that we are all different, that every child is different, and that you'll learn what your child needs, when it needs it…..so don't get too caught up in keeping up with the Joneses. Unless of course you ARE the Joneses— in which case I just want to be transparent— i haaappen to be up for adoption .

Positive affirmation seems to be in short supply these days, doesn't it!? Maybe it's just me, but I have a serious aversion to being led by standards that I (myself) didn't set…. btw, I recognize the irony in me using my "Lifestyle Blog" as a soapbox to tell girls to give one another more "praise" and "recognition"— so let me specify— I'd love for us all to compliment one another but for more of the RIGHT reasons. There only ever seems to be praise given when someone looks flawless and their lives so pristine that Instagram filters actually dull it down. Or the overkill of ass and titties like….allllll up in my Apple devices….I think what I'm trying to not-so-eloquently say is that I find myself craving some more real life than what i'm getting. I vote that we praise more peeps that aren't afraid to be themselves! Even when it's a little less glamorous than what we're used to seeing in our social media crazed generation….come on guys, just rub some dirt on it! 

So to practice what I preach this Mother's Day I'm making a special shout-out to the disheveled moms!! The ones who tote around multiple small children, never calling any of them the correct names and breaking up toddler mayhem every 15 minutes; the moms who remember to pack spare outfits for their newborn babe but who have to strut around for the rest of the evening in their spit-up soaked t-shirt; the moms who've left the house without brushing their teeth or hair; the ones who can't even REMEMBER when the last time was that they washed their hair; and all of us who can't remember the last time we got a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep!! You ladies might feel like a hot mess some {or lots} of the time….but don't ignore the fact that you still HOT!!

And I really should've prefaced that entire last paragraph by calling myself out first! Lord knows that I rarely EVER feel ahead of the curve. I never leave the house in a timely fashion— I lose my keys or my daughter can't find her lucky bobby pin {really? You can tell the difference gurl?!} I haven't had a clean car since before I got pregnant. I always have grandiose plans of washing and blowdrying my hair every. single. day — spoiler: the odds are always dismal. And sad :( People just assume at this point that I am too lazy to do anything other than unbrushed buns everyday— they must also assume that I have a sweating problem or just REALLY like wet hair. Oh….and I leave the house way more times than is normal, with only ONE F'ING EYE MASCARA'D !! {yeah….on the fking reg! I didn't think that many interruptions could happen to one person} And yes, there is always the Becky {Hail Queen Bey} the impeccably dressed, magic-haired room mom who I get a sideways once over from at least 2-outta-5 carpools weekly.  

I have no idea what is going on some of the time! …and that's okay! {remember, we're learning more than teaching} What I do know however is that the humor in it all is the part that we'll remember when our babies leave the nest!  I'll never live down cruising up all Clockwork Orange multiple nights out— but no one gives a f*ck about that one time that I wore my new FreePeople booties to D's dance recital. {although they SHOULD because those booties were epic and they cost half a paycheck….haters} 

So I sincerely hope that each and every one of you mamas out there knows that you're nothing short of a wizard for doing everything that you do and keeping your sanity. And while I'm not EVEN suggesting that we all let ourselves go to hell-in-a-handbag, I think that embracing those ratchet days are healthy and oh-so-necessary! Those are the girls that I wanna have be my besties!! {And no, no just because they're the only ones that will talk to me in public} 

So to any mothers taking the time to read this {all you OTHER ones….meh I guess you're okay too…unless you're Becky} I want to express my admiration for everything that you do— and all the ways you—  do you! 

❤︎,   

now please enjoy every picture i've ever taken of my child. ever.